Invasion of the Metal Men and the Flying Apes: A Madame Vastra Tale
by whofics
Summary: Being the retelling of an adventure concerning one Madame Vastra and her loyal butler Strax battling against a rather curious invasion of London that sprang forth from a murder case, a few meteorites, and an old toy shop, as told by the Madame's darling wife, Jenny Flint.
1. Prologue: Captured!

Though I love my wife, Madame Vastra, dearly, and though she often displays a calm demeanor, her temper has often been a sour topic between us.

"I swear, when I am free of these chains, I shall carve out your entrails and make you watch as I DEVOUR THEM SLOWLY, YOU DISGUSTING, FLEA RIDDEN, APE!"

Now, normally, I get a bit peeved when she uses the word "ape" because it's often use as an insult against, well, people like me, and most likely you if you're reading this. Sometimes she tends to think she's better than normally people because she ain't normally people. Sure, she's a reptile lady, but the only difference between is a bunch of green scales, that's what I always say, anyway. 'Sides, I like her scales quite a bit, thank you very much.

Vastra's tounge darted out at the apes with a crack like a whip, but they were just out of reach from her poisonous lash.

Of course, the only reason I didn't get peeved when she used the word "ape" is because, this time, she was actually talking to an ape. Three of them, as a matter of fact. The both of us were chained up like a pile of lumber to a big copper pipe. The apes only snarled back since they couldn't actually talk, you see. That'd be a bit silly, wouldn't it?

Two of the apes returned to the massive cranks attached to a maze of gears, while the third took his place at the helm of the aeroship. From the outside, it looked like one giant hot air balloon the length of an ocean liner connected to a long compartment for the passengers, which is where me and the Madame currently found ourselves trapped. The apes turned the gears and we could hear the roaring flames being pumped into the silver and red balloon to keep it afloat.

"I apologize for that outburst, my dear," Vastra said to me with her customary composed tone of voice, "but we must find a way to free ourselves and stop this airship from reaching its destination."

"Bit obvious, don't you think?"

"I have little patience for humor now, dear. But you may overwhelm me with a plentiful amount of jokes."

"Maybe Strax will-"

"Strax fell head first into the Thames, we'll be lucky if he can even be fished out. This is no time for naive flights of fancy. We need action!"

Through the window of the aeroship, I saw Big Ben was only a few meters away. It wouldn't be long now before-

I should probably go back a bit and explain a few things first though. This whole matter started on a rather rainy Sunday morning...


	2. Chapter 1: An Obvious Deduction

I found my beloved wife that morning in the greenhouse. She always took her breakfast among her collection of plants to remind her of the old days. Before breakfast, she would spend an hour in meditation. I'd find her sitting cross-legged on the floor with her katana placed in front of her.

"You know, mum, I'm never sure if you're meditating of catching a few extra winks of sleep," I said, gently placing the breakfast tray and the newspaper down on the table. She'd never admit it, but I noticed the tiniest of smirks on Vastra's face after my joke.

"The art of meditation is one that cannot be taken lightly, my dear. Fortunately, I have found the peace I sought for the day, just in time for breakfast."

"Of course, mum. There's a rather interesting article on the front page about a metor shower that happened about a month ago-"

Vastra stood and gently kissed me on the mouth.

"Good morning, Jenny," she said.

"Good morning yourself."

I pulled lightly on Vastra's arm and drew her to me….and that's when Strax burst in.

"Pardon me," he said, gruffly, which was how he said most things, "if you can stop doing…kissy things for just a moment. We have a case!"

"Another breakfast will have to go cold, sadly," Vastra said as she picked up her sword.

I looked mournfully at the perfectly made porridge that was about to go uneaten. Instead, I scooped up the bowl and brought it with us, just in case.

Our carriage hopped along the cobblestones until we stopped outside of one building that looked identical to all the others on the lane. Each of the structures looked as though a strong gust of wind could send them toppling one into the other like dominoes. Children ran through the streets, some without shoes, some looked like they hadn't taken a bath since they day they were born. There was a young woman clutching a crying child sitting alongside the road. She tried to sooth him, but the child continued to cry and cry. I carefully pulled the bowl of porridge from the cart and gave it to the mother.

"It may be cold," I said, "but I hope it helps."

The child dunked his hand right into the bowl and began to eat, his crying had stopped. The mother looked at me with a strange smile that came more from shame than happiness. She took her child's hand and hurried down the road. I felt a familiar, cold hand on my shoulder. Vastra never spoke much, but her silent strength always supported my spirit.

"It reminds me of where I grew up," I said.

"Come," Vastra said with her arm around me, "not all of this country's problems can be repaired by us. Let's focus, for now, on the ones we can solve today."

I knew she was right, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Vastra and I entered the building while Strax waited by the carriage. The inside of the building looked as poor as the outside did. The rose petal print wallpaper was the only source of brightness in the dreary building, and even that had begun to peel and sprout mold. The lower flat's door was closed up and at the bottom of the staircase to the upper flat was a man's body. The man was a large, not fat by any measure, but certainly not a petite fellow. He laid face down with both arms twisted and broken behind his back.

"Madame Vastra," Inspector Fredricks approached us with his hat removed, "I apologize for calling you out here. This seems to be a rather open and shut case. But I always feel a bit more comfortable when you've had a quick look at things."

"A wise policy, Inspector," Vastra said with her face covered by a dark veil, "it is exactly that kind of thinking that will ensure your continued success with the London police."

Vastra knelt beside the man's body and delicately inspected his shattered arms and the broken wood of the banister that was scattered around the staircase.

"It seems as though he and his wife got into an argument and then she pushed him down the stairs. As I said, open and shut."

"The neighbors?"

"That flat's been empty for nearly three months now."

"What makes you so sure his wife did it?" I asked.

"We get murders in neighborhoods like these all the time and the wife is always the one who kills her husband."

"Inspector," Vastra said, "I've given your intellect some credit, please don't make me retract my earlier compliments because you allowed such moronic sentences out of your mouth."

The inspector opened his mouth to speak, but then he decided to follow Vastras advice. A part of me thinks she can be a bit rude at times, but another part of me finds it too funny to mind.

"Where is victim's wife currently?"

"We brought her down to the station for more questioning."

"You'll want to release her as soon as I speak to her. She should not be considered a suspect in this case."

The inspector sputtered.

"Madame!" he said, "I certainly hope there is a good reason."

"Jenny," Vastra said, "what do you see on the staircase?"

"It looks like," I knelt down and could see dirt in the shape of boots climbing the staircase, "dirt bootprints, mum."

"Prints that perfectly match the shape and size of the boots on the victims feet," Vastra explained to the inspector and then turned back to me, "Please climb the stairs and tell me where the prints lead?"

I scurried up each step, careful not to step on any of the foot prints.

"It looks like they go down the hall," I called down stairs, then I entered the apartment and followed them to the bedroom, "they stop in the middle of their bedroom, mum!"

"And at no point do they return to the staircase, correct?"

"Yes, mum!"

"Please bring me any female shoes you see in the bedroom, dear."

Looking under the bed, I found a pair of modest slippers that I quickly snatched up. I hurried back to the top of the stairs because I did not want to miss a moment of Vastra's final deduction.

"Here you are mum," I held up the slippers proudly.

"Now, inspector, since our victim was still wearing the clearly dirty boots at the time of his accident," Vastra removed one of the boots to display their filth, "we must assume, from the lack of foot prints returning to the staircase, that our victim was not pushed from the top of the stairs, but carried from the bedroom, through the hallway, and hurled from the top of the steps. This would explain the damage to both arms. They weren't broken in the fall; they were mostly likely crushed by an attacker of great strength. Which would also explain the shattered banister," Vastra lifted one of the wooden pieces, "this is sturdy wood and a man who simply fell down the steps would not strike the banister with enough force to break it in a manner as destructive as this. Judging by the size of those slippers, the victim's wife is a petite woman, am I correct?"

The inspector knew he had been proven wrong.

"You are correct, madam. She is smaller than even Ms. Flint up there."

"Now, do you still believe that a small woman of no more than one hundred and twenty could lift her," Vastra quickly glanced down at the body, "two hundred and ten pound husband, carry him about two meters, and hurl him down a flight of stairs with enough strength to shatter a pine wood banister?"

"Well," the inspector said, "when you explain in such a manner as that…"

"I will need to speak with the victim's wife this afternoon. Then if you could kindly release her, I am certain she would be most appreciative."

Vastra turned her head up and walked for the door. I quickly followed.

"Have a lovely afternoon," I said with a polite curtsy to the inspector.

We walked across the cobblestones to the carriage.

"That was spectacular, one of your best, mum!"

"Thank you, Jenny, though I simply pointed out the obvious."

"Oh, of course, mum."

We arrived at the carriage and found Strax standing with several small children standing at military rest lined up in front of him.

"Finally," Strax called when he saw us, "I've already taught several of these urchins to march and properly salute. They will make unstoppable sleeper agents when the Sontaran Empire finally rains fire down on this blasted planet!"

Strax turned to his miniature military and gave them a final salute.

"Strax Squad, dismissed! SONTAR-HA!"

"SONTAR-HA!" the children shouted and then they ran off, giggling.

"Strax," Vastra said, "your experiences as a nurse have made you quite suited to be a nanny."

Starx looked annoyed, as he often did.

"At least if I was their nanny they'd be well prepared, vicious conquerors. Where to now, Madame?"

"The police station, Strax," a smile crept across Vastra's face, "we have a rather intriguing murder case on our hands."


	3. Chapter 2: The Empty Circus

"Thank you, thank you, Madame!"

Victoria, the newly widowed woman, had a difficult time containing her tears of joy outside of the police station. I offered her a handkerchief which became completely damp in just a few moments.

"I don't know how I can possibly thank you. I don't got much money," she said.

"Payment is entirely unnecessary," Madame Vastra said, "especially because your innocence took no effort to prove on my part. But, if you feel indebted to me, I do require something that you can provide."

"Oh, anything, Madame," the young woman's already gentle and mousy voice was squeaking from happiness.

"Information," Vastra said.

"About Benjy's murder? I don't know how much I can tell you. I got home from the butcher's and found him in the state he was in. Before I got the chance to call 'em meself, the police had arrived and arrested me."

I immediately pulled out my personal notebook that I use to keep track of any facts about a case. Vastra always memorizes everything, but I always like keeping a record of information just in case. I quickly jotted down "p_olice arrived before call could be made. Was there a witness after all?"_

"I've already inferred all of the important information of that nature I could from the murder scene," Vastra said with her analytic tone, "the information I am looking for has more to do with your late husband's every day activities: where did he work, who was he close to, those sorts of things."

"Well, Benjy has a few friends at work, but they're all such sweet men. I can't imagine any of them doin' somethin' this horrible. "

"And what exactly was your husband's career?"

"He works...worked down at the steel mill. He did all the heavy liftin' sorta jobs. Though lately…"

Vastra and I waited for the statement to continue.

"Lately, what, Victoria?" Vastra said, hoping to pull an answer from the reluctant woman.

"Well," she said, with a hint of hesitation, "he's been gone for the past month…his boss, Mr. Carthwright, he'd been havin' him and a few other men from the plant searchin' through the woods in the country for some of those meteors that had fallen in that meteor shower. Said somethin' 'bout studyin' 'em to make some kind of new metal."

My pen flew through my notebook to get every bit of information down.

"This wouldn't be _the_ Theodore Carthwright, would it?" I asked.

"The same," Victoria replied.

Vastra and I looked at one another with a worried look. Theodore Carthwright was one of the richest men in London and he owned the largest steel company in the country.

"And what was the last thing your husband did before he died?"

"Well," Victoria said, "he went to the circus."

"The circus?" Madame Vastra never had trouble believing things that sounded impossible, for obvious reasons, but this was the most surprise I had heard in her voice in years.

"It wasn't just any ol' circus though; it was the Phoenix Circus, the one Mr. Carthwright sponsors. He gave Benjy free tickets! We went together, matter of fact."

"Was there anything out of the ordinary there?" Vastra asked, still sounding surprised that this murder was going to involve anything has pleasant and wholesome as the circus.

"Not really," Victoria said, "but there was an odd moment…Benjy went out for a smoke before the show, and when he got back he looked white as a ghost. He barely said a word for the rest of the night, matter of fact."

We said our goodbyes to Victoria, and immediately directed Strax to take us to the circus grounds. By day, the typically fun-filled playground seemed rather drab. The animals in their cages lay still without the audience to stare at them. The massive tent that looked luminescent in the night was filthy and riddled with tears in the sunlight.

"What precisely is the point of a seer-kus?" Strax asked.

"It's meant to be entertaining, Strax," I said, though looking around, I doubted he would believe this.

"I'll never understand you Earthlings and your obsession with entertainment. Fun little toys and flashy things are forbidden on Sontar! After we are first replicated in our clone batch, our rattles are our disintegrator pistols, and our strollers are Class-A Death Cruisers!"

"Yes, Strax, you've told us many times before," I said with a sigh.

"Well, it bears repeating, _boy._"

Vastra's attention was focused entirely on a lone crocodile sitting in a cage, not moving an inch.

"He's a friendly looking, croc," I said, hoping to bring cheer Vastra's sour face.

"It's an alligator," she said, "the fools have it mislabeled. Is this all that my own people will become if they ever reemerge from the Earth? Subjugated novelties to be gawked at?"

I put my arm around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. I rarely saw this kind of pain in Vastra. But whenever I did, it was a reminder of why she needed my company as much as I needed hers.

"Focus on the problems we can solve today, remember?"

Vastra allowed her smile to return.

"Of course, my love."

Our trio began to march along the grounds in search of some kind of clue as to whom or what might have perpetrated the grisly murder. At the end of the rows of animal cages, just before the entrance to the main tent, there was a smaller tent with a poster pinned to its flaps. The poster featured a painting of a snarling gorilla with massive fangs with red letters sprawled along the top that read "_QUAKE BEFORE THE TERROR OF THE JUNGLE!"_

"Now that looks like a worthy opponent for combat!" Strax said while looking at the poster.

"The odd thing about all this," Vastra said, surveying the grounds, "is that no one is here. Not a single animal tamer, or clown, or…anyone! It's as if this whole place has been abandoned."

Vastra circled the main tent and found a plain wagon. We approached it carefully, with Strax keeping an eye behind us for any possible trouble. Vastra peered into one of the wagon's windows, while I peeked through the other.

"Anything?" she asked.

"Nothing," I answered.

"Then if you'd be so kind?"

I pulled a pair of thin wires from bag and slowly slipped them into the lock of the wagon's door.

"Damn your picks, I can simply bash the door down with my skull!"

"Strax, your suggestions are always appreciated, but for the time being, we'll save your skull's destructive prowess for when it is truly needed."

"Very well, I shall continue to look out for a target to destroy!"

A small click from the lock told me the door was now open.

"Nothin' to it," I said.

Vastra and I walked slowly into the wagon, keeping our hands on our swords in case of danger. Though it seems foolish now, the wagon was so small, that anything dangerous would have popped out almost immediately. Everything seemed normal, so we began to search through the piles of paper sitting on the desk near the door. Again, nothing strange, or at least nothing that would incriminate anyone for the crime of murder. We were almost ready to stop looking when, while sliding my hand along the bottom of the desk, I felt a round circle of metal with a sliver that cut it down the middle.

"Mum, there's a lock under here," I crawled under the desk, removed my lock pick, and immediately set to work on this new challenge. This one took a few more seconds than the door, but I heard the same satisfying click. A hidden drawer popped out from the bottom of the desk. From it, Vastra pulled a rolled up blue print. She unfurled it with flair and flattened it out on the surface of the desk. The drawing was a pale outline of separate parts that, when put together, would resemble a metallic man. Each of the limbs had specific notes as to how they should be built to provide proper mobility. This wasn't meant to be a wind-up toy or a new attraction. This was meant to be an actual moving metal man. Scrawled across the top of the page was a title with a word that I didn't recognize from any language:

_PHASE 1 PROTOTYPE- NESTENE AUTOMATON_

"Jenny," Vastra rolled up the blueprint and headed for the door, "we need to find out who drew this blueprint. Immediately."


	4. Chapter 3: The Rich Man and the Toymaker

"The question we must ask ourselves now is what do we know so far."

Vastra, Strax, and I were sitting in opposite one another in the drawing room. Madame had her wine glass of animal blood, which she sipped on throughout the conversation. I kept my notebook at the ready for reference, while Strax cracked his knuckles at the thought of another great battle.

"Benjamin Vanderbilt was murdered two days ago," I said, consulting my notebook.

"A man who seemingly had no enemies is murdered," Vastra said, more for her own benefit than for ours, "our murderer lacks motivation, if we can discover this, the rest of the case will unravel."

"The murder was also committed in a most gruesome and efficient manner. Most impressive."

"Strax!" I said sternly, "don't compliment the murderer!"

"Sorry. I do look forward to conquering this lawbreaker and to the righteous battle that I shall engage him in…as punishment for his crimes, of course."

"That's better."

"Whoever the murderer is," Vastra continued to air her thoughts aloud, "they have an enormous amount of strength, enough to be capable of lifting a massive man and crush his arms with their bare hands."

"What about the blueprint, mum? You seemed to think it was important."

Vastra seemed to come out of a trance at the mention of the enigma on blue paper that we discovered.

"That, my dear, is where I believe the answer to all of our queries rests," Vastra turned to Strax, "Strax, what do you know of a race called the Nestene."

Strax let out a chuckle, "A pathetic race, barely worth destroying. Their invasion tactics lack the honor of a true battle! They invade by possessing the form of inanimate objects, and then, like a foul, sneaking grath-snatch, they strike when the alien scum of the planet least expect it. Sontarans have the courtesy to allow their enemies to prepare before they are inevitably extinguished from the universe."

"Consider," Vastra took a sip from her glass, "a race that arrives on a planet in their intangible forms courtesy of small, compact sphere that could easily be mistaken for-"

"Meteorites!" I was gleeful in my deduction, but then quickly embarrassed, "sorry, mum."

"Do not apologize for intellect, my sweet," Vastra gave me a tender smile, "you are, of course, correct. Our unexpected meteor shower was, in truth, the beginnings of an invasion force. They will posses forms of objects made from the most ubiquitous substance on their soon-to-be conquered planet. And here it would be steel, metal. And who do we know who has the largest steelworks plant in London?"

"It would have to be-"

A knock on the door interrupted me before I could finish.

"Are we expecting company?" Vastra asked, throwing her veil onto her head.

Another knock on the door made Strax threw up his hands in disgust.

"Does no one on this wretched planet have respect for the proper channels when scheduling dinner plans?!"

"Oh dear," Vastra said as she watched Strax go to answer the door, "I do believe we may have domesticated Strax a bit too much."

"He's certainly the most polite violent butler in the county," I said as Vastra and I struggled to hold back our giggles.

Strax reentered the drawing room with a pair of men by his side. One was a skinny man with thick glasses who kept a meticulously neat appearance. Every crease in his suit was perfectly ironed and every stand of his hair was flat on his skull. The second man completely overshadowed his companion. He was a tall man with pitch black hair that shined in the light. His busy mustache gave him an air of sophistication, which wasn't necessary considering the quality of his richly colored clothing. He wore a crimson suit jacket made of velvet. The entire ensemble seemed to pale in comparison to the shining walking stick with the solid gold head in the shape of a gorilla.

"Good evening, Madame Vastra. I must say it is an absolute honor to meet the legendary detective herself. My name is-"

"Carthwright, Theodore Carthwright. This visit is an honor for me as well, sir."

Vastra always knew that the best way to begin an unofficial interrogation was to start by complimenting them first. Make them feel comfortable so they begin to put their guard down.

"I should have known you would have been able to deduct who I was the moment I walked in the door. Oh, where are my manners? This is my personal assistant Gregory Summerdale."

"Pleasure to meet you both," Gregory had a meek voice and a tiny smile. He had become accustomed to living in the shadow of a giant like Carthwright.

"Mr. Summerdale handles all of my personal and business affairs," Carthwright said.

"And yet he can't call ahead for dinner," Strax muttered to himself.

"We won't be long, Madame. I just wanted to ask how your investigation into the death of Benjamin Vanderbilt was progressing."

If Vastra was shocked by Carthwright's knowledge of our investigation, it didn't show on her stoic, green face.

"I try not to discuss investigations with people outside of my immediate circle," Vastra said while nodding towards myself and Strax, "but you will be relieved to hear that we have a few promising leads."

"That is such a relief to hear, Madame," Carthwright continued to speak with the kind of forced sincerity of someone who has all of their statements prepared and rehearsed, "I've already visited Mrs. Vanderbilt earlier this evening in order to deliver the first of her widower's pensions. I hope that can bring her peace."

"Yes," Vastra said with a pleasant tone, "I'm certain that monetary compensation will certainly ease the bottomless pit of emotional pain that one experiences at the murder of a loved one."

For the first time since he entered the door, a genuine expression came across Carthwright's face. It was one of confusion as to how he should respond to Vastra's cutting statement.

"Yes, well, I…I thought so too," he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his forehead. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air until Strax found it impossible to fight against his new found nature as a butler.

"Well, shall I fetch some tea?" he said with a grin.

"No," Carthwright said, "no, I do believe we'll be heading off. Summderdale, give them my information, would you? Please, contact me if you need any assistance in your investigation."

I took the slip of paper from Carthwright with a smile.

"Expect to hear from me again very soon," Vastra said.

We accompanied the men to the door. As they left, Vastra watched their carriage and their driver carefully.

"Curious," Vastra said as the men went on their way.

"What is it, mum?"

"Carriages of that make usually stay a meter and a half off of the ground. This carriage is practically scrapping against the road. But only in the front half."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning whoever that cabby is must be a man of considerable girth to weigh the carriage down in that manner."

"You don't think-"

Before I could continue, Vastra took the slip of paper from me and opened it. A smile spread across her face. She held the slip of paper out to me. On it was an address, as well as office hours written in one person's handwriting. Below it, quickly scribbled in a new bit of handwriting, was a message that read "_if you wish to know more, Wonder and Whimsy Toy Shop."_

"That my dear," Vastra said as she began to strap the saya of her katana around her waist , "is a trap. One that you and I will have to spring if we wish to stop the Nestene invasion of this planet."

Once Strax and I properly prepared ourselves for battle, we made our way to the toy shop. The store was closed, unsurprising, considering the hour of night, but it looked as if it had not been open for months. The windows dusty and brown with filth, making it impossible to peek in to see if it truly had been abandoned.

"We'll sneak around the side," Vastra said peering down the damp alley next to the store, "I see an entrance to the cellar."

The cellar door had a massive padlock on it with multiple chains wrapped around the door handles.

"Strax," I said, "I think this would be a good opportunity to use that noggin of yours?"

"As you wish, stand back, please," Strax backed up to the opposite end of the narrow alley. With his small running start, he dove headfirst and smashed through the rotting wooden doors. We heard a series of crashes and grunts as he fell down a series of stairs into the cellar and hit the floor. After a second, his footsteps echoed through the hole in the door and he ripped the pair of doors from their hinges.

"I have successfully penetrated the bunker!" he said with great aplomb.

"Fantastic work, as always, Strax," I said giving him a gentle pat on his round head.

We made our way down slowly, barely able to see the steps in front of us. Vastra led the way, as she was able to see far better in the solid darkness. She lifted a lantern off of a post and lit it.

There were hundreds of eyes looking right at us.

Toys, countless dolls and tin soldiers and nutcrackers, and every child's play thing you could imagine surrounded us. Up on shelves, on the floor, everywhere there was space, there was a toy sitting, neglected.

"Mum," I said while trying to hide the quiver of nervousness in my voice, "is it just me, or...are they all...looking at us."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jenny. They're toys. Nothing more."

At the end of the cellar, there was a workbench and a large chair with what looked to be man's arm resting on the seat. As we moved closer, Vastra reached out her hand and slowly turned the chair around. Illuminated only by the lantern's dim light, was an old man with his eyes wide open in horrible pain. His head rested to the side, but it was at an angle that looked unnatural. I reached out my hand and felt his neck.

"It's broken," I said. Vastra lifted the lantern higher and illuminated the walls. The light revealed dozens of sketches on the walls, all similar to the ones we found at the circus grounds. Various designs for metal bodies of different shapes and sizes.

"Look at this one," I pulled one down from the wall that was a design for a mechanical gorilla, "but why kill him?"

"His value had run out, so they simply disposed of him. One thing is certain, this invasion is no doubt moving along quicker than we perhaps originally thought."

I turned and noticed Strax had his back turned to us.

"Strax, what is it?" over his shoulder I could see in the dim light the eyes of the dolls still staring. Dolls who were looking the opposite direction a few moments ago. I quickly grabbed Vastra's arm to shine the light on the rest of the cellar.

"Jenny, what is-?"

The entire basement was now filled with toys, all of which were staring up at us. The lifeless eyes looked unforgiving. Some were standing with arms outstretched, ready to grab us at any moment. Our path to escape was blocked by the miniature mob. At the foot of the cellar stood a man of silver. His face was without features. As he lifted his arm, the sounded of metal scraping metal pierced our hears. The metal man pointed, signaling his troops to attack.

Vastra and I drew our swords. Strax continued to look afraid.

"Did you expect the trap to be anything like this, mum?"

"Believe it or not, my love, even I can be surprised at times."

And that's when the toys attacked.


	5. Chapter 4: The Invasion Begins

Tiny body parts flew past my face as I hacked away at doll after doll. Two clowns pulled my legs out from under me. The little monsters were stronger than they appeared. I sent one sailing across the room with a kick, while the other I beheaded with a flick of my sword. The darkness of the cellar made it impossible to tell how many toys were still remaining. One thing was certain, for every one we managed to vanquish, plenty more joined the fray.

"Any ideas, mum?"

"Keep slashing," Vastra said as she spun around with her katana extended, eviscerating four tin soldiers, "until they're dead!"

Strax had a less elegant style of combat. At that moment, he was rolling across the cellar floor, crushing the toys that grabbed onto his body like a green boulder.

"Is that the best strategy you can come up with?!" he shouted. He stood and grabbed a friendly looking bear by the throat, pinned it to the wall, and drove his fist into its face until it was nothing but metal bits.

Vastra managed to clear a path for herself and charged across the cellar towards the mechanical man at the foot of the stair. Each deadly swing of her sword was parried by the arms of her foe. The clash of steel against steel made sparks that danced through the darkness, briefly illuminating the duel as a series of still portraits.

"Jenny!" Vastra shouted between attacks, "Blueprint! Weak points!"

I ran back to the blue prints and cut my way through one, two, three soldiers mounted on horses. By the light of the dimming lantern, I leafed through the stacks of paper as beads of sweat formed on my brow. Finally, I found one that matched the metallic man battling with my beloved.

"Where the arms meet the shoulders!" I shouted, "And the back of the head!"

Vastra ducked beneath the metal man's arms as he made a grab for her neck. She rolled along the floor, and then sprung up with her sword leading her body up. The sword slid between the automaton's arm and the shoulder, severing it from the torso. She spun and sliced down on the other arm, removing that one as well. With a kick to its back, she knocked the helpless thing to the ground and drove her sword into its head. The killing stroke caused the toys in the room to revert back to their lifeless existence. The three of us collectively breathed deeply as we struggled to regain our lost breaths.

"I think we must pay a visit to Mr. Carthwright," Vastra said sheathing her sword.

"Can we just rest for a moment first?" Strax said, still lying on the floor, surrounded by shattered toys.

Against the sunrise, Carthwright Steel cast a massive, mangled shadow that made the structure look like a castle from a ghost story. We marched straight inside and into Carthwright's office, leaving a series of shocked and befuddled faces in our wake. Carthwright was sitting behind his desk smoking a cigar. To his right was, as usual, was his assistant Gregory Summerdale, and, standing stoically by the door, was the massive, cloaked valet we saw the evening prior.

"Madame Vastra?" Carthwright hurried to extinguish his cigar, "what an unexpected pleasure. Have you come to ask me more about the case?"

"No, Mr. Carthwright, though I must thank you, your concern for your employees and their widows led me directly to the culprit of the murder."

I was puzzled for a moment. I had thought the whole purpose of our visit here was to arrest Carthwright for the murder. Then Vastra went on.

"You see, the strangest thing about the murder scene was the complete lack of a struggle. You'd think that if a man of Benjamin Vanderbilt's considerable size were suddenly in a struggle for his life against a man of equal or greater mass, there would be more damage done to the flat beyond just a simple broken banister. Meaning…"

Vastra's tongue flew from her mouth flicking the hood from cloaked man in the corner. The hood fell away to reveal a dark haired ape with violent eyes glaring at us. I staggered back in shock, as did Carthwright.

"Good Lord!" he shouted.

"Yes, Mr. Carthwright. At first I thought this highly intelligent mechanical ape was the murderer. But then I considered the placement of the footprints on the stair. Oddly close to the wall, away from the banister. A man as large as Mr. Carthwright wouldn't discomfort himself by hugging the wall so closely. This means that someone was walking up the staircase with him that day he was murdered. The murderer was someone he knew and trusted. But someone who still had the strength to hurl him down a flight of stairs."

"Do you believe I killed him?" all of the color had vanished from Carthwright's face.

"Preposterous," Gregory finally spoke up, "Mr. Carthwright was busy with his affairs at the circus grounds that day."

"I am well aware of all of that, Mr. Summerdale. Your employer is completely innocent."

Vastra's tounge lashed out again, this time flicking across the cheek of Gregory Summerdale. The gash on his cheek revealed neither blood nor bone, but cold, grey steel.

"You, Mr. Summerdale, are the killer. You killed Benjamin to make sure he wouldn't speak a word about the strange drawings of metal men he discovered that night at the circus."

"Gregory," Carthwright looked entirely incapable of understanding the sheer madness of everything happening around him, "what are you?"

Gregory's face turned up in an eerie smile.

"I am but one of the many vessels of the Nestene," he said with his delicate voice filtered through metal, "and I shall spare your life as a small token of thanks for helping to make our decimation of this planet so very simple."

Two more apes burst into the room and wrapped their arms around Vastra, Strax, and me. We struggled, but the might of the metal apes was too much for us.

"Now, as for you three," Gregory said, "you shall be the first to witness the historical moment of the Nestene's triumph. This day shall be forever remembered in the chronicles of history. And you will get to watch it happen: the destruction of Parliament, and the fall of England."

Vastra looked at him calmly.

"These hollow speeches are becoming quite tiresome," she said with a sneer, "does your master plan also involve boring the human race to extinction?"

I felt my heart leap at Vastra's brash dismal of Gregory's threats. He, however, was less than charmed.

"Take them to the aero-ship," the gorillas dragged us away. They carried us down a series of stairs into the bowels of the factory.

"Humiliating," Strax mumbled to himself, "completely undignified."

"Calm yourself, Strax" Vastra said with her eyes closed as if she had resumed her meditation, "everything is going exactly as I hoped it would."

"You hoped we would get captured by gorillas and Parliament would get destroyed?" I asked.

"Well, there have been a few surprising digressions from my initial plan, but we needed to figure out what the Nestene were planning, and now we know. We have put ourselves in the perfect position to thwart their machinations."

"So what do we do next, mum?"

"Next, we escape capture, and make sure that this aero-ship never reaches its destination."

"You make it sound so easy," I said with a scoff.

"Well, I like to think my confidence is infectious," Vastra said proudly.

"You do know," a deep voice bellowed from my gorilla captive, "we can hear and understand everything you've just said."

"As I said," Vastra allowed the slightest bit of shock show on her face, "surprising digressions."


	6. Chapter 5: Battle Over London

If one were to judge the craft referred to as "the aero-ship" one would believe it to be completely incapable of flight. Its massive size looked better suited for floating along the ocean than in the sky. When unveiled from beneath a gray cloth in the open yard of the steel mill, the aero-ship glimmered in the sun like a deadly diamond. A series of stairs led to the passenger compartment of the ship, while a steel cylinder the length of the whole craft was attached below the compartment by a pair of clamps that could release it at will.

Within the craft, a series of pipes and gears weaved in and out of one another, creating a fabric of solid brass. We were marched down the halls to the front of the ship with sporadic blasts of steam reminding us of our urgent need for an escape. Chains were wrapped around our bodies to secure us to one of the pipes forming the maze of the ship. Our capture was made clear by the snap of a padlock around the chains.

Gregory Summerdale kept his attention on the windows of the aero-ship, through which he could see the steel mill and the beginnings of the streets of London. He held Vastra's and my own sword in his clockwork hands. He slid the swords from their sheaths and gazed at them with admiration.

"Steel," he said with a sinister tone in his voice, now removed of its polite affectations which he had expertly employed to continue his charade of being a meek business man, "what a fascinating substance. Strong, sturdy, deadly, but weakens so easily with the passage of time. We'll have to create something sturdier for ourselves if we're to rule this planet."

One of the gorillas forced air through his massive nostrils and right into my face.

"Foul!" I shouted.

"Hiding in plain sight all this time," Vastra said, "I'd be impressed if I was not busy thinking of how best to stop you."

"Your inability to simply admit defeat is quite admirable, if not foolish."

"Bah! A Sontaran never admits defeat! Especially not to intangible invalids like the Nestene."

"Ah, how I have missed the moronic boasting of Sontarans," Summerdale took a sick glee in torturing poor Strax, "whenever I hear of yet another of your people's devastating defeats at the hands of our allies the Rootans, I can't help but feel a sense of…elation."

Strax tried to lunge at Summerdale, tightening the chains and cutting off my air. Summerdale laughed at his impotence and let our weapons fall to the ground with a clang.

"Prepare the ship for liftoff; I need to join the others."

The gorillas moved to the controls on different parts of the ship. With military precision, they began to turn the cranks and pull the levers to activate the flames that inflated the balloon attached above our heads to an immeasurable size. We began moving at a shocking speed. In what felt like only a few seconds we were floating over the Thames towards Big Ben.

"One metal man and a trio of apes hardly seems like an invasion," Vastra said, I could tell she was trying to stall for time.

"Madame Vastra, I thought you were supposed to be a detective."

Summerdale's false eyes rolled into the back of his head. A glowing red energy slowly dripped out of his body and through the floor of the aero-ship. His body fell to the ground with a hollow thud, revealing its true nature as nothing more than an empty shell."

"Madame Vastra, Jenny, I want to say…it has been an honor to fight beside you."

"Strax, are you alright?" I asked, "I haven't heard you talk like this since…well…I've never heard you talk like this."

"It is my way of apologizing for what I am about to do," Strax said with his voice catching in his throat. Before I could ask what he meant, Strax sucked in air and slipped through the chains like water through a crack in a roof. The chains began to fall slack, but one of the apes quickly snatched them up and tightened its grip around Vastra and me.

Strax dove at the gorilla manning the helm of the aero-ship. Their collision sent them both flying into the controls, causing the ship to make a sharp turn, nearly tipping it completely onto its side in mid-air. As the two battled, our ape captor wrapped one arm around the pipes while the other kept his unbreakable grip on the chains. The third ape swung across the pipes to make up for his unsure footing and made his way towards the controls.

"Strax, look out!" I shouted.

The ape straightened out the ship and Strax turned to face his new adversary. He never stood a chance against two of these Herculean automatons. They dragged Strax towards the door as our captor tightened and secured our chains.

"Make them pay, comrades! Make them regret the day they set their sights on this foul world! Make them remember the name-"

Strax's voice was drowned out over the sound of the rushing wind that filled the cabin as he was pushed through the open door.

"I swear, when I am free of these chains, I shall carve out your entrails and make you watch as I DEVOUR THEM SLOWLY, YOU DISGUSTING, FLEA RIDDEN, APE!"

This is right about the point where you lot came in. We were trapped with no way out, and it seemed as though all of London was about to be destroyed.

Action. We need action, Vastra said. The word ran through my brain as I looked around, desperate for anything that could help us in this hopeless moment. That's when I noticed the padlock strapped to the chains along Vastra's stomach.

"Mum, that's a padlock wrapped around the chains, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"I need you to pick it for me."

"How exactly do I do that?"

"You're going to find this a bit disgusting-"

"Oh dear."

"Your…tongue."

Vastra was silent for a moment.

"Don't speak of this to anyone."

Vastra's tounge slid into the lock.

"Now," I said, "you have to be very gentle. The pins are all very sensitive, you need to lift them one by one until they're stuck into place."

"Ah te wa oo ah oo?" Vastra muttered with her tongue sticking out.

"Then you're going to turn it gently once you feel all of the pins are stuck into place, can you manage it?"

"Ahmos gah ee"

The padlock clicked and the chains slipped off.

"Jenny, be a dear and fetch me my sword."

"Right away, mum."

One of the apes sprinted towards Vastra with its arms outstretched, but she dodged his massive arms and caught them in her own to hurl the facsimile over her shoulder. With a gorilla blocking my path to my precious katana, I dropped to the smooth floor and slid between its bowlegged stance. Before the creature knew what had happened, its head had been sliced off by twin swords. I threw Vastra's sword to her waiting hand, and she brought it down into the chest of her assailant. One gorilla remained standing. The beast was backed into a corner, but before we could turn him into a pile of broken bits, its eyes rolled back and the same red energy that left Mr. Summerdale left this automaton as well.

"Whatever they were planning, it must have something to do with that cylinder attached to the ship," I said.

"My deduction exactly, dear, the trouble is," Vastra gazed at the hodgepodge of levers and switches along the front of the ship, "I haven't a clue which one releases those clamps. One of these could do it, or it could send us crashing into the Thames."

"Either way, the city would be safe."

"I had made that tragic conclusion as well."

We both stared at the controls for what felt like hours.

"We'll pick one together," I said.

Vastra smiled and we both placed our hand on the lever closest to us. Vastra pulled me close to her and pressed her lips against mine. The scales on her lips made my cheeks tickle, and the kiss sent an electric strength through my whole body. If this was to be the moment of my death, I could face it knowing it happened in my love's arms. We pulled the lever together.

The hard shift of the lever was followed by the sound of an object whistling through the sky and then a loud splash.

We were still in the air.

Vastra and I looked out the window to see the splash as it slowly fell back into the river. We hugged and laughed with relief. It was finally over.

"We need to see if Strax is alright! There's got to be some way to land this thing."

Vastra began to run her hands along the controls.

"I will have this all figured out in a few moments, my dear, have patience."

Before Vastra could begin to land the aero-ship, we heard another splash, this one far more violent than the first. We looked out the windows to see a purple tentacle, nearly 30 kilometers long, reach out from the Thames and wrap itself around Big Ben. Slowly, it pulled out the rest of its body; a creature like a squid with a mouth filled with gnarled fangs that dripped saliva dropped itself beside parliament, and began to smash all things surrounding it.

"What is that?!" I asked in horror.

"That is the true form of the Nestene," Vastra said mournfully.

She quickly returned to the controls.

"We need to find a way down there, now."

I snatched up a small telescope that sat along the control panel. I watched as the people of London ran away in terror of the demonic beast that was slowly laying waste to everything in its path without prejudice. Vastra ran to one of the cranks and turned it as quickly as she could muster. The aero-ship began its slow descent, but it was not moving fast enough. Suddenly, I noticed through the thin circle of the telescope a small cluster of flames that struck the Nestene creature in the head near its eyes. The Nestene let out a cry of pain that could shatter glass.

"Jenny," Vastra said, "what is happening down there?!"

Before I could answer, two more bursts of flame caused the Nestene to emit even more cries of anguish. I could just make out a round man accompanied by smaller, what looked like, children hurling objects at the creature that would ignite on impact.

"I don't believe it," I said, "it's Strax! And he's with those children! They're hurling explosives at the creature!"

Vastra shook her head.

"And to think, that man wants to destroy this planet someday."

We had descended low enough that we were now hovering a few meters above the Nestene's head, narrowly avoiding the grasp of its tentacles. I could clearly see Strax and the children, their cries of "SONTAR-HA!" as they bombarded the beast hung in the air. Vastra grabbed one of the parachutes that hung next to the door.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"I plan to leap from this craft and drive my sword into the heart of this monstrosity. Care to join me?"

"Mum, you'll get yourself killed! We can land this thing and get closer, just wait a moment."

Vastra took my hands and held them against her lips. She then looked up at me with those impossible eyes that had seen centuries of time on this world.

"They were willing to risk their lives. A samurai can do no less. And I am a samurai, my dear. But that is not why I chose to fight and die this day. I fight for you, Jenny. My love for you would give me the might to face all the armies of this world and die a million terrible deaths."

"And as the woman you love," I said grabbing one of the bags for myself, "I'm gonna fight by your side until the bloody end."

"And that is why I love you" she said.

Once I had my parachute secured to my back, Vastrapulled open the door. With the wind roaring and our swords drawn, we leapt into the sky and let gravity drop us down towards our enemy. After a few moments of diving like a bird of prey, we released the fabrics that sent us slowly down towards the skull of the monster. I slashed at tentacles that tried to stop me from reaching my landing point. Finally, we arrived on the top of the Nestene's head and stood our ground like soldiers on a violet hill.

"Together!" Vastra shouted.

With our swords turned down, we plunged them with surgical precision into the Nestene's flesh. A gargling whine and violent tremors of its tentacles were the creature's final movements towards death.

Once the creature was dead, we returned to the streets below. Our comrade Strax looked no worse for wear, though he was soaking wet and draped with seaweed. He stood before his troop of obedient children.

"You fought bravely today, Strax Squad," he said, "and you have all earned your place at my side as future rulers of this appalling world. As long as you follow my strict commands, of course. DISMISSED!"

"SONTAR-HA!" the children shouted as they broke from military attention and scurried home.

"Well," Strax said to us, "I am quite pleased you're not dead!"

I couldn't help but hug that oaf.

"Ah, is this one of those…displays of affection that you two are always exchanging?" he asked "I'm not quite sure if I like it."

"No, not at all, Strax," I said, "it's how warriors measure one another's strengths on this planet, by gently squeezing one another. We call it a 'hugging.'"

"How interesting," he said, completely oblivious, "we must practice this 'hugging' more often."

"Yes, well, we can continue to do that at home," Vastra said, "I'd like to avoid the crowd that is gathering, and I am absolutely famished."

"I hear that the tentacles of a Nestene body is one of the most delectable dishes in the cosmos!" Strax said while he hungrily stared at the purple corpse sitting nearby.

"You don't say," Vastra said, suddenly intrigued.

"I am absolutely not going to cook alien tentacles for you both," I said.

"My dear, where's your sense of adventure?" Vastra said as she put her arm around my waist.

"Oh no, don't even try to butter me up. I put my foot down at eating alien tentacles, especially ones that have been soaking in the Thames for nearly an hour."

"Very well, Strax and I will have to simply eat it all by ourselves. By the way, I thought it would be nice to pay a visit to Mrs. Vanderbilt to let her know that her husband's murderer has been brought to justice."

"That'd be very nice, mum. And maybe we can see Mr. Carthwright about adopting that alligator we saw at the zoo?"

"Yes," Vastra said with a smile, "that would be very nice as well."

We went home and slept until the morning came.

Life went on peacefully after that, until the day of the blue moon, the were-spiders, and the monks of Venus.

But I'll tell you that story another day…


End file.
